Where I Am

I stare at the lights

Outside my window.

I sit here,

In this clean,

Dark,

Comfortable room,

Utterly alone.

The sweet scent of potpourri

And faded memories

Are my only company.

This silence is new,

And relieving.

I feel for once,

As the lights

Go down,

And people begin

To subside to their beds,

I can have a moment

To myself.

I can't tell if

This place is

Anything but a memory,

But it feels close.

Although I am not where

I feel I am,

I have this

One moment to 

Go home.

This moment is

Purely mine.

Yet as I start to

Sink,

My moment is

Taken away.

It has been stolen by 

The voice I know

By day-

The pin that always is

Pricking at my side,

Awakening me from

Moments like this.

My chest grows tight as I

Lose my focus.

As the usual sounds
Reminding me of

Where I am

Start to surround me,

I close my eyes,

And take in the

Darkness.

I think about

The moment that was

All mine,

And pray it will come back.

Knowing I have failed,

I drift off to sleep,

Dreading the moment I must

Wake up.

I must remember

Where I am.

Ignorant Perfection

As a school girl

I often heard your little

Patters through the halls

And how you kissed that boy

Through the walls.

I saw you stand and 

Stare at me with your

Perfect eyes,

Throwing glances of

Hope,

And fury,

And demise.

Oh how you were,

So ignorant, so wary-

As I grew up,

You chose to stick it out

And drown until you were buried.

Your burial ground was a fine

Marriage.

But I care not,

As I am the one

Less perfect.

The one forgot.

Filter

When I think of all the things I've done,

I stop and wonder

Why I've failed.

How could you get lost

In a hole so deep?

Sinking and crumbling

To the bottom of the earth.

Sand slipping down

Down-

Down.

Into nothing.

I am a crevice atop the sea floor.

A filter,

Stuck atop the sea floor.

Waiting for someone to

Call for me.