Mean

She looked at me with her set of pretty blues, smothered in smudged eye liner.

They were encouraging.

Trustworthy eyes.

Asking me to sit with her.

As I walked over, I heard her whisper to the monster next to her,

“Ew, Kerri’s coming.”

Walking through the crowded and stuffy hallway,

I hear vulgar insults slice through people.

I walk behind her, unable to break the wall she’s formed.

Accidentally I step on the back of her clumsy shoe,

And trip her.

Angry, she shouts, “Fat cow!”

I laugh.

Inside, I am broken.

Every day, on the repugnant, fowl bus,

She tells me to call my mother.

I call, reluctantly, and ask for her to come over.

When my mother says, “Not today,”

She pushes for me to ask again.

And again.

Until she got what she wanted.

I knew she didn’t like going home.

That house was no place for welcome.

She was scared.

To say anything.

Unable to control their outbursts.

She wanted something to control.

Me.

In reality I knew she wanted what I had.

An assuredly safe home.

A sense of self confidence.

Although I didn’t show that.

I didn’t know I had it,

Until I met her.

She acted like a goddess,

Worthy of worship.

Emphasizing that she was “skinny,”

Obviously showing her superiority.

I didn’t fight back.

I let her crush me until I believed I was inferior.

She forced me to lose myself.

I noticed stares in the hallway.

She had them fooled.

“Lesbian,” they would say.

I hated what they thought of me.

I hated that one person,

One rumor,

Could make people actually

Hate me.

What I cared so much about

Was why they were so bitter.

Discriminatory

Against something so

Natural.

Emerging from the everlasting cycle of

Acidity,

I escaped the

Abuse.

I escaped the person

I called my

Best friend.

She is not a bad person.

She was lost,

Pulling me with her

Into the abyss.

I was her launching pad,

allowing her to get out.

Allowing her to reach

Another ledge.

Until I let her go.

We were never meant to be

Friends.

Just people,

Passing through others,

Like petals in a strong

Wind.

Teaching each other of

Ourselves.